De-Social Networking

Last Sunday was the first time that I watched the Oscars in years. Suffice it to say, none of us were really into it, however it was fun watching what movies won, and pleasurable (I might ad) to fast forward through their long and awkward acceptance speeches. By the end, I was sure that I needed to see the movie "Social Networking". I am an avid Facebook user and 99.99% of my hits on blogger come from my friend base on said website. At least 2 or 3 times a day I will scroll through the new Status Updates to see what is going on in the world, and about once a week if not less, I will post an Update with thoughts of my own.

I am intrigued with the way the internet has forever changed the way we communicate. There are so many wonderful mediums through which we can now connect to each other. I have 507 of my closest friends, new and old, to chat with, exchange emails and read their thoughts as they blog away. I have the means to do so on my phone which is with me where ever I go, or on my laptop when time permits. We have single handedly bridged the geographic divide between friends and family. Why then do we feel so alone?

In talking with friends, almost everyone of them admits they don't have a single best friend that they can talk to in times of trouble. What has become non-verbal communication for the sake of convenience has near become an excuse to avoid people we don't really want to talk to while maintaining them as friends in our "social-network". The Internet's black hole is blamed for not responding to emails or getting messages from unwanted correspondents. It's almost impossible to communicate your thoughts clearly when there is a higher level of complexity in the message you want to send. With all the convenience that comes with checking on our peers at a glance, it almost never fully satisfies the desire for human contact. People need to be (physically and locationally) with other people period. I think I'm making up words now, but you get the point.

Don't let Facebook be your only source of community. Typing on your computer while your husband or wife is watching TV is not a family activity. Been there and done it. Disconnect and do something with a friend. Make sure you maintain the human connection.

Figure This

In my travels I heard about this 11 year old boy who was arrested in October in Colorado for "doing what his therapist told him to do". I'd like to hear from the therapist to know if he really told him to draw violent scenes in class instead of acting out. If you ask me, this shows an incredible lack of forethought on the part of the therapist. This can't be an excuse. If nothing was done when the picture was drawn or when the child acted up, and one day he did bring a gun to class to act out his drawing, the lot of these critics would be pointing at the police department for having done nothing.

I am trying to imagine the scene as the police enter my home 10 years from now to talk to my son about a drawing he had made. I would be terribly upset, and I might have told him to just cooperate with the police. I don't think that a lawyer would be a bad idea now, but I can't imagine my son doing something like this and not reaping the appropriate consequences.

I do feel for the boy. I imagine this has been a traumatic experience for him, and I hope that it scares him straight, but only time will tell. I hope that the family will find a therapist with a bit more common sense. I have friends who are teachers and I think we are naive to think that a child won't become violent under the right circumstances. I'm reminded of Solomon's words in Proverbs 3 that says, "My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD or loathe His reproof, for whom the Lord loves he reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights." Some correction is needed here. I hate that it had to come from the police, but I am happy that at the very least they made a house call even if the outcome for him had been different.

The Big Jump

I am a consultant, which means that I travel to offices here and there and teach them how to run their business efficiently. Usually this starts with a pep talk on how to make and achieve goals. Recently I was giving this spiel to an office in Gainesville, and so I decided to use one of my own goals as an example. With it, I explained the 5 steps:

1. Make an attainable/measurable goal
2. Write it down
3. Make a plan
4. Set a target date
5. Follow through

Well, when they asked me when I was going to do it, I told them I had not made a plan yet, so they challenged me to do it before I returned to their office in February. In the video below, I go through the 5 steps to achieve my goal. Hope you enjoy it.

The Forever I Do…Maybe

I must apologize first because I have never been through or come close to divorcing my wife. Our marriage is in it’s infancy, but in many respects we have already become long-timers amongst our friends and acquaintances. I don’t mean this to brag by any means. No, it has been so shocking lately to hear of how many couple are getting divorced or have already done so lately. Combine this with the couples we know of who are looking to buy a house together outside of wedlock, and the “Forever I Do” starts to seem like more of a “Maybe”.

All of this makes my heart break completely. Just so you know, I am a Christian who believes in the God of the Bible, and that Scripture is the inspired Word of God. According to Scripture it is only ever okay to get divorced on the grounds of the other being unfaithful, and that is loosely translated. In Malachi, the Lord says, “For I hate divorce…” I have a large group of friends who are Christian and a large group of friends who are not. I have been surprised to hear of the number in both groups who have left their marriages.

I can’t imagine that anyone getting a divorce or anyone who has been through it could or would say, “I love divorce” because they surely didn’t enter the marriage with that in mind (I am leaving out the proverbial “gold digger” here on purpose). Even if all of the divorces that I have heard of recently are due to some form of marital unfaithfulness, then what is the source of their unfaithfulness? Why is marriage becoming so marginalized in our society?

Molly and I have made a commitment, and we have vowed to erase the word divorce from our vocabulary. It is not an option that we discuss, nor one that we turn to in hard times. I can’t imagine what circumstance would arise that would change this, and maybe some were shocked when it happened to them.

This week I will be praying for marriages all over the world that men would love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave his life up for it, and that women would love and honor their husbands. I pray that every marriage would turn to Jesus for the source of their strength and need in good and bad times. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.